How do You Get Yourself Out of a Bad Mood?

It happens to the best of us. You’re doing your thing, minding your own business, and boom! Bad mood strikes, sometimes for no reasons, sometimes… well you know exactly why.

I haven’t done any researches, but I know from my own experiences that you can get in a bad mood for many reasons. Someone tells you something you don’t like, and you make a big thing out of it, which puts you in a bad mood. Or, you create a scenario in your head, some kind of downward spiral that leads you to feel bad. And then there’s the case where your hormones are just messed up because you either ate junk, or you didn’t sleep properly, or you didn’t move enough, or you’re a woman and you’re having a case of PMS.

In all cases, you feel the bad mood sneaking in your body. If you could see a before and after shot of yourself, you could make a note of all the differences in the way you hold your body when you’re in that bad state. Everyone has their own bad mood body moves, and facial mimics.

How do you get out of there?

While I’m no expert on the subject, I love to read and learn about human behaviours, habits, neurobiology, and all kinds of human related “stuff“. It’s a thrill to make a connection, and get that “Eureka!” moment when solving a puzzle. And then there are patterns that get obvious after a while when you pay attention.

The simplest way I found to snap out of a bad mood is to first notice that I am in a bad mood and acknowledge it. Obvious, but not always easy.

The second thing I do is notice how my body and my face responds to the feeling. If my head is down, and I’m frowning, and at the same time I’m rounding my shoulders, and my breath is short, I know I just have to focus on doing the opposite. In a minute, I can change my state by changing my body and my breathing.

The last thing I need to do is let go. I find that by saying the words in my head a few times, the remaining bad mood goes away. I am now ready to talk calmly if someone told me something I didn’t feel was appropriate, or I can go by my day knowing it’s going to be an awesome one.

This strategy never fails, and I use it every time I want to change the state I’m in.

What do you do to change your mood, cheer up, and feel better?


How to Meditate in 45 Words

I’ve always been curious about meditation. It seemed like something only enlighten people could do. A bit like having faith. It was mysterious, but at the same time, I knew there was a whole lot of great things happening when you devoted time to practice meditation. I read about, and each time the concept just eluded me. I almost gave up, pretending that meditation was simply one of those things that you just had to have.

You know meditation is good for you, you’ve read about it, friends might have talked about it, so I’m not going to get into the details of all the goodness it provides. I’m just going to tell you how easily you can do it. This is for beginners, those who like me have no idea how to do it, and the skeptics who think it’s all voodoo-hoodoo magic.

It was Joseph, from the app 10% Happier (FREE on the Apple App Store) that demystified the whole thing. His approach is simply this:

Sit in a dignifying position. Close and relax the eyes, relax the jaw, the shoulders, and soften the belly. Then realize that your body is breathing. When, not if, your mind starts to drift in thoughts, acknowledge them, reconnect to your breath, and begin again.

See, I just taught you how to meditate in 45 words. You’re welcome!

Of course, there are many other ways to practice meditation. For those who just don’t get it, like I did, this is the easiest way to start meditating. You can do it for only 5 minutes, and still rip a ton of healthy mind-body-spirit benefits. The simple act of focusing on the breath, even for a few seconds, is helping you get better at being mindful.

Do you meditate? Will you try it now that you know how easy it is?

I Had Big Dreams

What we believe to be the usual path of a female Porn Star is to start doing adult clips, videos, or movies around 18-20 years old, right when a she is young, firm, and beautiful. Starting so young usually leads to a nice career lasting for maybe 12-15 years. Then, she might retire at age 30-35 when she still looks pretty and young.

Something Was Wrong With Porn

My own “career” started when I was 31 years old, when most female Porn Star retire. The reasons I chose to do adult entertainment are a post of themselves, but I can say that I felt there was something wrong with porn back then. All I could see was a misrepresentation of what sex really is. Missing connections, no real passion, and fake orgasms.

I thought it was quite ugly, and it turned me off. I didn’t really know how, but I wanted to change that. My first slogan was “Beautiful Porn. Redefining the Meaning of Pornography”. I had big dreams, and used my stubbornness to make things happen.

Beautiful Porn

It turned out that by sharing my authentic sexuality, and showing what I am passionate about, it made my vision of beautiful porn a reality. I was lucky to be with someone who had a vision similar to my own in terms of aesthetics.

Whether other porn producers noticed what we did or not, I will never know, but I’m delighted to see how the world of pornography changed over the years. It evolved into something where more people share their true desires, and it shows, or at least tries to show, passion. It’s not just a money machine designed by perverts– altho there are still too many of those.

Now What?

My big dream has come true. Pornography has changed. X-Art has been a wonderful contributor to this change, and The Good for Her Feminist Porn Awards celebrates erotica centred on women, and marginalized people. Violet Blue and Tristan Taormino have and continue to educate us.

Now what?

Question: What Gets You Turned On For Sex?

I received this question in my email a while ago. At first, I wanted to think about it, just to put every element in place in order to draft a clear response. Then I realized that thinking and sex were not the best mix. After all, sex is something primal, something we feel, and desire. So I close my eyes, and let my imagination reply to the question. It’s personal, but not so much that I can’t share it with you.

The Slow Start

It often starts in the neck. Soft kisses, and the warm breath of my lover on my skin give me shivers. It’s even better if he’s behind me, and holds me tight. I guess that makes me feel secure. Whether we’re in the kitchen, in the bed, or in a public place, this will instantly arouse me.

The French Kiss

There’s been studies about kissing which are quite fascinating. For my part, the French kiss will wake my desires immediately. First, with just our lips touching. Then the tip of our tongues. It’s warm, soft, and moist. And then we go for the whole exchange of saliva, when passion rises higher and higher.

He Wants me Now!

That’s when he throws me on the bed, or bend me over. He uses his strength to take me. He takes control, and the smell of testosterone fills the air. I’m not resisting, and the feeling of surrender makes me feel secure, and intimate. It turns me on to feel the strength, and power of my lover.

Tell me What You’re Going to do to Me

The first phrase, when he calls me names or tells me what he would do to me, is always a surprise. But the second is like a spell that turns my brain chemistry into a witch’s bubbling magic potion cauldron.

There are other things that get me turned on for sex, but those are the first ones that came to me when I closed my eyes. They’re not fantasies when I’m alone. Telling you about those would probably make me blush. They’re simple, and they reflect the real interactions I have with my lover.

What’s ONE thing that gets YOU turned on for sex?

Featured image from Chloe Morgane’s sex video Make Love to Me