Chloe Morgane - Can this Work for me?

Can this Work for me?

You hear or read something that would be empowering if only you didn’t try to find a scenario where it didn’t work. Or, someone tells you exactly how you can change something you’ve been struggling with by sharing their stories, but noooo! It wouldn’t work for you, your situation is way too different.

You do this because your focus is not at the right place. You focus on the problem. You know the problem with rich and vivid details. You can explain it with precision. This habit keeps you from focusing your time and energy on what’s important: the lesson and the solution.

When you’re in the known, even if it’s painful, you feel secure. A solution would make you go into the unknown, so you fight it. You find the one reason why it wouldn’t work, you explain it in details, instead of just trying the solution. What’s the worst that could happen if you tried it? And an even better question would be, can this work for me?

I’ve done this too often. Sometimes, because my focus was on the problem, but other times because Mrs Ego was in the way. I thought that I could solve my problem by myself without anybody’s help. Instead of trying the other person’s solution, I would shake it off using all kinds of excuses.

Have you done this, and how do you fight the urge to discard a good solution or something empowering?

 

 

7 thoughts on “Can this Work for me?”

  1. I too am guilty of rationalizing away the solution all too often. And you nailed it! Because it takes me outside of my comfort zone. So I just give up and look for the next avenue. Keep moving. Not necessarily forward but moving. You stop moving, you die. Spiritually and emotionally. Thanks Chloe for your thought provoking blog!

    1. You said you “just give up and look for the next avenue”. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I think I’ll write a post about “the next avenue”…

  2. You ask: Have you done this, and how do you fight the urge to discard a good solution or something empowering?

    I am lucky for my chosen profession where nobody can no everything or know everything. But maybe it was that I chose this tradesman profession because of the sharing of answers?

    That being said, for seeing so much clearer now for being single, unattached, and celibate, women as they are in the many societies of today, are a royal pain.

    Men do not have clear cut solutions in relationships with women because men do not want to admit that the woman they are with is crap. Enter “honor” and the defense mode. Fact is that they are unhappy and are unwilling to do what they need to do. Let us call that cowardice.

    Chloe, I am happy for you that you continue to think. I do not care if you are naked doing so, or if you are self pleasuring yourself doing so. What is important that you are willing to question all the rights and wrongs of others, the others being individuals or groups. Good for you 🙂

  3. I have a completely different perspective on this and Chloe, see if this even make sense.
    There was a brilliant Psychotherapist who wrote a best seller in the 1970s (I think). It is called “Games People Play” and the author is Eric Berne (http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/ ) . This book is still being sold in book stores and at Amazon for example. It is based on a theory of transactional analysis and that kind of therapy is not followed anymore since it consumes too much time of the therapists.

    Dr Berne analysed many behaviors of many people in ordinary and extraordinary situations and came up with certain patterns of human interactions. He classified them as games that get played sometime over even decades. There is one game that I got reminded by reading your blog.

    It is called ‘Why Dont you, Yes .. But” with acronym WD-YB game! From the book I just copied a few lines below ..

    WHY DON’T YOU-YES BUT
    Thesis. “Why Don’t You—Yes But” occupies a special place in game analysis, because it was the original stimulus for the concept of games. It was the first game to be dissected out of its social context, and since it is the oldest subject of game analysis, it is one of the best understood. It is also the game most commonly played at parties and groups of all kinds, including psychotherapy groups.

    Now my comments follow.

    It is not that one needs a therapist to resolve such games. This is not a harmful game but there are deep psychological needs that gets one to play this game based on the theory of Transactional Analysis.

    I may be completely off base if this is not relevant. It is not a EGO issues of the kind refusing to accept responsibility but something more deeper. The resolution is often presented just by knowing how and why this game is played.

    Having said this, wish you all the best – hope your wedding preparations are coming along nicely !

  4. Like me and my Gay urges I was ashamed a lil bit i wasn’t like a mess now but getting that first taste. And then watching your Videos I was l like ok now that’s what I am Doing Rest of my days. I don’t mind it u just went for it hook line and Sinker. Hope this helps dear cause if it’s meant to be if will come to fruition. Aloha I Young Lady. Yours Forever Derrick

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