Chloe Morgane - Blue Eyes Redhead with Red Lipstick

Blame and Responsibility

There’s a huge difference between blame and responsibility. Blame doesn’t have acceptance connected to it, and it suggests that someone is at fault. What’s important to understand is that people who tend to blame will look for anything that is not in line with their rigid beliefs.

Blamers hold on to inflexible belief systems, and they feel threatened when you do things that question their small thinking.

When everyone agrees with one another on these belief systems instead of developing our thinking to consider new beliefs, we stay stuck in the inadequate belief model.

Being blamed for something makes you feel guilty. Instead of letting the feeling take hold of you, try to understand the other person’s belief, and chose to let go of the guilt by giving back what belongs to the blamer in a loving and caring way, and taking responsibility for what belongs to you.

Taking responsibility simply means you acknowledge you have not done the best you could. You know you’ve made a mistake, but you forgive yourself, and do everything you can to fix the mess you’ve made.

The compassion you use to taking responsibility gives you power, confidence, and lets you grow better beliefs. Your new beliefs will help you express positive intentions, and search for the best solution when a challenge is presented to you.

It’s hard to not blame other people, and when we do, it’s time to look at our own set of beliefs. Maybe they’re great beliefs, but they simply do not align with the other person’s beliefs. If that’s the case, understand the dichotomy, and share compassion with the person about her challenging and frustrating problem.

 

15 thoughts on “Blame and Responsibility”

  1. It seems a lot of people have never done anything wrong. At least in their own minds. One of these types told me I was half wrong, while he was have right. He was wrong, wrong, the whole enchilada wrong.

    While I was still working it was rare to find someone admitting that it was their responsibility when things go wrong.

  2. Text shared with credit to you. I do as such for so many are prudes. But at least your mental message still gets out.

  3. From a joke I heard a long time ago, when a comedian was impersonating Nixon: People who are to blame, lose their jobs. People who are responsible do not! On a more serious note: Love your comment.

  4. Great topic and blog, Chloe!

    Here is my take that I want to share with you.

    It is hard to justify any belief by reason because beliefs and reasons do not mix. It is not also possible to prove one belief is wrong from the vantage point of another beliefs.

    People hold onto beliefs for any number of reasons. One of them is to cover the feelings of extreme insecurity.

    Blaming can arise out of a rigid belief system or it can simply be a cover to not face the truth and hence face one’s innermost insecurity.

    Acknowledging reality is the start of taking responsibility (and hence see possibilities via response-ability). That empowers a person and helps them to even face their innermost insecurity.

    When one is secure with their sense of limitations blaming, self-blaming, condemning, complaining and criticizing others will diminish …

  5. Your’e so right. If a problem arises one needs to find a solution and not point fingers or attribute blame.

    You are such a wise and beautiful person.

  6. Blaming people shows a personal weakness. If others are always to blame for things that you consider wrong, this says more about the blamer than the persons being blamed. My wife is always blaming (and shaming) me for doing things that are not wrong… they are simply not her way. This speaks to her need for control, and not the fact that I’m doing anything wrong.

  7. I’m going through a tough separation at present. I want nothing more than forgiveness for a chance or a hope.

    Maybe this is the selfish and non understanding element. What would you do, fight for the one you love, or let her go because you love her and she may well be happier without you.

    Tough times.

  8. Constant blaming, or perhaps a victim mentality, is indicative of a closed mind. When I start with the acknowledgement that I am wrong, at least a little, in my understanding, it opens up the chance to learn something. I don’t know how wrong I am in my assessment of my world, or if I am right or left of the truth, but as a human I can’t possibly be perfectly correct. I do know, that I can learn something from practically everyone, about what is in the gap between my incorrect understanding and the truth. You are delving deep these days.

      1. Right or wrong, I am imperfect. This realization is liberating from the pressure to defend the, “right,” answer or position etc. It separated listening, from formulating a response for me. The decision to respond or not, is independent. I hear more, and notice smaller things.

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