Many of us want some changes in our lives. We want more freedom, better relationships, and we want to contribute to this world. And that’s the problem, and the reason nothing will change; we’re too vague.
Have you ever seen a child write a letter to Santa like this one?
For Christmas, I want toys.
The reason you need to know exactly what you want is that your brain will start working when it knows exactly what it is that you really want. If you don’t get what you want, you’ll be disappointed, frustrated, and unhappy, which is a good thing.
How can being disappointed, frustrated, and unhappy be a good thing?
Because you need drive to move toward your goal. You need to know it’s going to be painful if you don’t get there. To avoid the pain, your brain will figure out a way to give you what you’re after because it wants the pleasure from successfully getting what you want, and because it wants, at all cost, to avoid the pain from not getting it.
The next time you set a goal for yourself, make sure that:
- you set only 1-3 positive goals at a time to avoid goals competing against each other;
- you break-down long-term goals into small bites that can be achieved in 12 weeks or less;
- your goals are crystal clear, so that you don’t end up with a Barbie while you wanted a Tonka loader (true story bro);
- you work on your goal and follow-up every single day to create momentum, and see progress;
- you have strong reasons why you want what you want;
- you know what it will cost you (pain) if you don’t make it happen.
Knowing what you don’t want isn’t going to help you. That’s why you have to set a positive goal. If you know what you don’t want for dinner, how is that going to help you eat tonight?
Update on the Useless Stuff challenge.
This week, I bought a book for 0$. I would not have bought it this month if I’d had to pay for it.
In the context of my useless stuff challenge, I am wondering if this would count as a fail. Although the book didn’t cost me money, I have succumbed to consuming something.
Next time, I’ll make my rules clearer about what counts as a fail.
What do you think? Did I fail or not?