Chloe Morgane (Camille Crimson) - Redhead Naked

Why is Change so Hard

Even if growing is one of my core values, using and applying the information from all the books, articles, and blogs that I read is always a challenge. I wonder why I resist that change, although I know and I want to make it.

I found there are valid reasons for this.

First, there’s this gap between now me and future me. This gap is often overwhelming. The work I’ll have to do to close the gap feels insurmountable. That’s because I’m focusing on the amount of work I’ll have to do instead of the things I can do now, in this moment.

Second, as Seth Godin said: “learning something new will change you into someone who disagrees with the person you used to be”. Again, my mind would be focusing on my future me who would believe something different from my now me. 

What’s your way of doing the hard changes you need to become who you want to be?


5 thoughts on “Why is Change so Hard”

  1. I’m currently reading Switch: how to change things when change is hard by Chip & Dan Heath. Very good book so far and fits your post.

  2. Change appears hard when there is lack of clarity. Often the change we attempt may be unnatural. When there is clarity change happens ever so naturally. In nature, we see changes happen all the time. When our hair grows in our body all kinds of complex changes happen and yet the growth of that hair from the skin is effortless. So when we come across something requiring effort that means we are trying to solve the wrong and an unnatural problem. Or we do not have the right understanding in place.

    Now the clarity can never come from any amount of analysis and action plans with resolve of the change itself. It instead comes from knowing the changeless core that is the substratum of the change.

    Once in an organization I was leading we had enormous change due to the company being reorganized and even downsized at the very high levels causing anxiety. Now what I tried to assure myself and my organization is the changeless core does not change – our constant need to create innovative R&D for our core customers, our own skill base to innovate and our sense of integrity with which we approach our work. Now these changeless core items was not going to change . By anchoring on these core principles it was possible to not only deal with change but seek out and even shape the change with enthusiasm.

    The clue that a change is hard means that there is lack of clarity about the changeless core that is underlying the change needed. Once there is clarity, the change will be the most natural things to happen almost effortlessly. I have many more personal examples and my mistakes have always been due to lack of clarity

  3. Danielle LaPorte and Desire Map is helpful. She has a Youtube video that explains quite well.
    It comes down to “You aren’t chasing the thing. You are chasing the feeling. How do you want to feel?” This works with me since I’m an INFJ.

    Yes, like Tim said: Clarity.

    I journal. I get up early to have time to myself. I drink my coffee and brain dump. Then I set my intention for the day. How do I want to feel? What is one thing that I can do to feel that way?

    Going toward is, hopefully, balanced out with letting go. I have various releasing rituals that I roll through. Those tend to be at night.

    I get tired, frustrated, pissed off and go cry in the shower when I’m alone and feel sorry for myself for awhile. Then I get up, dry off and go back to work. I walk in nature and see the cycles. Expand and contract. I make progress then it seems like I lose ground.

    My word for this year is….Trust. Trust the process. Everything happens for a reason. With me it’s more I’m re-membering who I am. Pulling the pieces of me that I’ve given away and fitting them back into place.

    Mainly I just stubbornly keep after it because I believe that I’m worth the effort.

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