Accident 4th Anniversary

On October 6, 2013, I went for an off-road motorcycle ride. I broke my tibial plateau. One of the worst fractures you could get, according to the surgeon who fixed my bones.

In one way it was traumatic, in another way, it was a wonderful, long moment of introspection. When one of the most important things, one of the things you are so familiar with, walking, standing, running, jumping, taking a shower, taking care of your basic needs, is taken away from you, you become even more passionate about them.

Even if they’re the most mundane things in life, you feel like this is what you want more than anything in the world. You fight with all your heart, all your guts, and all your being to get that power back. Because, however unexciting these activities are, trust me, they make our life remarkable.

For me, there’s no break. I make it a daily practice to move my body, to stretch, or to lift heavy things (me!) to be stronger. On the rare days I can’t make time for my body, I can’t walk, or go up and down the stairs easily; it hurts.

Today, I can’t take for granted the simple act of walking, or standing on my two feet. I am always amazed, and deeply grateful just watching my feet get in front of one another. I feel that all the tedious work I’ve done, and am still doing to keep my ability to move, is paying big dividends.

We humans will fight hard not to lose something. We’ll fight way harder not to lose something than we’ll fight to gain something new. It might be because we know that thing we don’t want to lose, compared to that new, unknown, thing we could gain. There’s uncertainty with gaining something new.

Saying Goodbye to my Plate and Screws

This Wednesday, Feb. 25th, I’m going to have surgery to remove my plate and 11 screws from my left leg. I’m excited because I know the pain I feel every day will go away.

It means I might be able to run again. It means I’ll be able to jump without feeling as if the screws want to come out of my bone. Dancing? You bet! And ho! That will feel so good!

And then, I looked a my x-rays. For a split second, I didn’t want the screws and the plate out. They’re mine. They’re part of me and they are who I am. It’s almost as if I’d be incomplete without them.

But that feeling lasted only for a split second…