Role Play

You don’t decide what role you want to play in life. You’re a mother, father, brother, or sister. You’re a lazy employee, a good citizen, a renter, or a home owner. You let your environment and situation decide who you are, and what you do. If you’re not having much success in your life, you might think you’re a failure.

Even if the situation can be changed, your behaviours and your beliefs make you think you can’t do anything about it. You learned to be who you are instead of deciding who you want to be.

You get trapped in a state of mind as if in a bad dream from which you can’t wake up.

Your beliefs get stronger because you accumulate evidence of who you have become. Even if the evidences are false in reality, they would still strengthen your beliefs because you give them the power to define who you are.

So, how do you become who you want to be?

Destroy the evidences by making them stand in front of reality. Only then can you change your beliefs and your behaviours.

If you believe you’re a lazy couch potato, and you’ve accumulated evidence that you are a slouch, you’d need to find all the instances where you were diligent, disciplined, and smart-working.

And when you’re actually on the couch doing the hot potato, remember that this is earned relaxing time to unwind from your productive, disciplined day.

Now, define who you want to be. That’s where the fun begins. You can be anyone you truly want to be. Write down all the qualities you want to have, and all the things you want to be able to do. Make yourself extraordinary according to your standards.

Example:

I am a kind and compassionate wife. I enjoy being disciplined because it makes me strong mentally, physically, and in all other areas of my life. My trial skills are progressing; I can make a controlled wheelie to cross big rocks and tree trunks…

Role play: act like that person you just defined. Breath, walk, speak, eat, smile like that person you want to be. Imitate him or her. Ask, “what would she or he do in this situation”, and do it!

You’re already role-playing your life, might as well be on your term! Agree or not?

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Update on the Useless Stuff challenge.

So far, so good.

I’ve made an IKEA list, but didn’t check out.

I’ve got a camera and a lens in my amazon shopping cart that’s been sitting there for about 2 months; I didn’t check out.

I didn’t buy new books; this is my weakest link, and it’s almost a daily struggle. I have more than 500 books in my Kindle app, I guess you could say I have enough.

The Life we are Capable of Living

It’s intriguing to think about the lives we are capable of living compared with the life we are actually living. The life we are capable of living is the one that we secretly desire. It exists somewhere deep inside us.

But this amazing life isn’t driven by the you who gives in to procrastination and doubts. It can only manifest when you’re at your best, confident, and healthy. You can live this life when you show up, when you make things happen, and do everything you can to make a difference.

To make this extra-ordinary life happens, you need a system, one that will work for you. You need to try new ideas and implement them until there’s a good fit with the system and your personality.

But most importantly, you need a vision. Something that will drive you to action. I invite you to write it down, without judgement, without thinking about what others say you should be, have, and do. Without asking “How am I going to achieve this?” but by asking “What if?”. What if I could save the world? What if I could end poverty? What if I could become a millionaire? What if I could own a Tesla or a Ferrari? What if I could become a farmer?

What if?

Blame and Responsibility

There’s a huge difference between blame and responsibility. Blame doesn’t have acceptance connected to it, and it suggests that someone is at fault. What’s important to understand is that people who tend to blame will look for anything that is not in line with their rigid beliefs.

Blamers hold on to inflexible belief systems, and they feel threatened when you do things that question their small thinking.

When everyone agrees with one another on these belief systems instead of developing our thinking to consider new beliefs, we stay stuck in the inadequate belief model.

Being blamed for something makes you feel guilty. Instead of letting the feeling take hold of you, try to understand the other person’s belief, and chose to let go of the guilt by giving back what belongs to the blamer in a loving and caring way, and taking responsibility for what belongs to you.

Taking responsibility simply means you acknowledge you have not done the best you could. You know you’ve made a mistake, but you forgive yourself, and do everything you can to fix the mess you’ve made.

The compassion you use to taking responsibility gives you power, confidence, and lets you grow better beliefs. Your new beliefs will help you express positive intentions, and search for the best solution when a challenge is presented to you.

It’s hard to not blame other people, and when we do, it’s time to look at our own set of beliefs. Maybe they’re great beliefs, but they simply do not align with the other person’s beliefs. If that’s the case, understand the dichotomy, and share compassion with the person about her challenging and frustrating problem.

 

Feeling Empty and Disconnected

There’s so much to learn, so much to do, so much to talk about, and so much to write, but sometimes, the mind feels empty, disconnected. It doesn’t want to put ideas into words, and chaos scrambles all communication between the conscious and unconscious.

When this state hits me, I want to push through, and still do, think, and create. It doesn’t work, and altho the pattern has been there for always, it’s only today that I understand its message. My mind, and my body are telling me to rest, to do nothing but fun, and easy things. To replenish my body by giving it good food, exercise, and sleep.

I spend too much time in front of my computer, driven by a “mysterious force”, an obsession to work, work, and work more without taking a break. It’s been a belief, a conditioning, that I’m unable to put into words. I know what it is, but I can’t describe it, and I hate it. It’s pulling me, gluing my butt on the chair, even though I crave going outside, breathing fresh air, and moving.

So how to get out of this devilish state when there’s always more to do? How to tell my mind to stop, and believe I’ve done enough for today? How to break the cycle when I recognize the first symptoms?

Read. Meditate. Cook. Walk. Get outside. Go see people you love, and trust.

Did you ever have to deal with emptiness and the feeling of being disconnected?

 

 

 

 

Your Self Image is Who You Are

Your self-image is how you see yourself. It’s also all the things you believe you are and what you think you can do. It won’t be a surprise then if I tell you that your self-image commands your emotions and actions.

Believe you’re a lazy couch potato, and you are. Believe you are strong, and full of energy, and you will be. Change your beliefs about your self-image, change your life.

Those who don’t have a positive self-image seem to have trained to see only the nasty little faults in their appearance, in their thinking, or in their behaviour. They’re disappointed in how they look, what they say, or when they do something they believe is stupid.

Knowing Where You Stand

I know I struggle with the way I treat myself. It even makes feel hesitant to express and assert myself. I sometimes think I fail to take on opportunities, live incredible experiences, and even feel helpless about changing small and big things in my life. I need to draw out an incredible amount of courage and energy to believe I’m good enough, strong enough, and that I deserve the good things in life. Altho I know exactly where it comes from, I find it incredibly hard to change.

Practice Positive Self-Image

It takes time to develop a positive self-image, but the efforts should be wonderfully compensated. As research shows, people with a positive self-image focus on growth and improvement, and people with a more negative self-image focus on not making mistakes.

While doing research for this post, I found many resources that describe how to achieve a positive self-image. In theory, it looks fairly easy, but most of the articles have so many steps that I’m currently paralyzed. I don’t know where to start.

So for now, I’m simply acknowledging I have a not so positive self-image. When I find my next step, I’ll share it with you, and you can share yours with me too. In the mean time, have you also struggledwith your self-image?