Blame and Responsibility

There’s a huge difference between blame and responsibility. Blame doesn’t have acceptance connected to it, and it suggests that someone is at fault. What’s important to understand is that people who tend to blame will look for anything that is not in line with their rigid beliefs.

Blamers hold on to inflexible belief systems, and they feel threatened when you do things that question their small thinking.

When everyone agrees with one another on these belief systems instead of developing our thinking to consider new beliefs, we stay stuck in the inadequate belief model.

Being blamed for something makes you feel guilty. Instead of letting the feeling take hold of you, try to understand the other person’s belief, and chose to let go of the guilt by giving back what belongs to the blamer in a loving and caring way, and taking responsibility for what belongs to you.

Taking responsibility simply means you acknowledge you have not done the best you could. You know you’ve made a mistake, but you forgive yourself, and do everything you can to fix the mess you’ve made.

The compassion you use to taking responsibility gives you power, confidence, and lets you grow better beliefs. Your new beliefs will help you express positive intentions, and search for the best solution when a challenge is presented to you.

It’s hard to not blame other people, and when we do, it’s time to look at our own set of beliefs. Maybe they’re great beliefs, but they simply do not align with the other person’s beliefs. If that’s the case, understand the dichotomy, and share compassion with the person about her challenging and frustrating problem.


Feeling Empty and Disconnected

There’s so much to learn, so much to do, so much to talk about, and so much to write, but sometimes, the mind feels empty, disconnected. It doesn’t want to put ideas into words, and chaos scrambles all communication between the conscious and unconscious.

When this state hits me, I want to push through, and still do, think, and create. It doesn’t work, and altho the pattern has been there for always, it’s only today that I understand its message. My mind, and my body are telling me to rest, to do nothing but fun, and easy things. To replenish my body by giving it good food, exercise, and sleep.

I spend too much time in front of my computer, driven by a “mysterious force”, an obsession to work, work, and work more without taking a break. It’s been a belief, a conditioning, that I’m unable to put into words. I know what it is, but I can’t describe it, and I hate it. It’s pulling me, gluing my butt on the chair, even though I crave going outside, breathing fresh air, and moving.

So how to get out of this devilish state when there’s always more to do? How to tell my mind to stop, and believe I’ve done enough for today? How to break the cycle when I recognize the first symptoms?

Read. Meditate. Cook. Walk. Get outside. Go see people you love, and trust.

Did you ever have to deal with emptiness and the feeling of being disconnected?





Your Self Image is Who You Are

Your self-image is how you see yourself. It’s also all the things you believe you are and what you think you can do. It won’t be a surprise then if I tell you that your self-image commands your emotions and actions.

Believe you’re a lazy couch potato, and you are. Believe you are strong, and full of energy, and you will be. Change your beliefs about your self-image, change your life.

Those who don’t have a positive self-image seem to have trained to see only the nasty little faults in their appearance, in their thinking, or in their behaviour. They’re disappointed in how they look, what they say, or when they do something they believe is stupid.

Knowing Where You Stand

I know I struggle with the way I treat myself. It even makes feel hesitant to express and assert myself. I sometimes think I fail to take on opportunities, live incredible experiences, and even feel helpless about changing small and big things in my life. I need to draw out an incredible amount of courage and energy to believe I’m good enough, strong enough, and that I deserve the good things in life. Altho I know exactly where it comes from, I find it incredibly hard to change.

Practice Positive Self-Image

It takes time to develop a positive self-image, but the efforts should be wonderfully compensated. As research shows, people with a positive self-image focus on growth and improvement, and people with a more negative self-image focus on not making mistakes.

While doing research for this post, I found many resources that describe how to achieve a positive self-image. In theory, it looks fairly easy, but most of the articles have so many steps that I’m currently paralyzed. I don’t know where to start.

So for now, I’m simply acknowledging I have a not so positive self-image. When I find my next step, I’ll share it with you, and you can share yours with me too. In the mean time, have you also struggledwith your self-image?