There’s no Such Thing as Time Management

Time management is not logical. It looks like it is when you put it down on paper, or on your favourite time management application, but really, time management is emotional. How you choose to spend your time is based on how you feel.

No one can manage time. Time passes. You got to deal with that fact. You can’t change it, and you can’t do anything about it. Can’t get back in the past, can’t go into the future. Only the now can be used to do/feel/say something.

So, it’s just another case of using the wrong words. Creating an extra hour a day? That’s impossible. Everybody gets 24h/day. What we’re really managing here are the things we do, the feelings we feel, and the things we say.

When I do what’s important instead of what’s urgent, I’m managing both my tasks and my feelings. Doing what’s important will make me feel proud, confident, and free. If I’m responding to urgency, I’ll get behind in my important things, and will be stressed, tired, and anxious.

That’s why I got into the habit of using an hour or two every day to do, feel, and say the important things without interruption from anyone or anything.

Instead of trying to manage time, which is impossible, I choose to manage myself, and take responsibility for the life I have created through the time I was given.

Are you trying to manage time, or do you manage yourself?

 

P.S.: May the 4th be with you!

Clarity

You’re talking to someone, thinking you’re being understood. The other person listens to you, thinks she gets it, but it turns out she didn’t. You get pissed because it’s always the same thing, and the other person also gets pissed because you’re pissed at her.

A common conflict scenario that could be avoided if only we had more emotional vocabulary. We’re often simply expressing a frustration that didn’t find words to be told.

We didn’t learn to describe what we’re feeling, or what our needs are because it’s too darn narcissist and egocentric. Let’s be logic, efficient, and productive, and forget what’s going on inside!

While logic has its use, when we think with our heads about our emotions, we end up feeling guilty for having these emotions. Instead, identifying our sentiment gives us clues about who we are, and what our needs and values are. It’s like the symbols on your car’s dashboard, telling you a need is or isn’t satisfied.

A rich emotional vocabulary opens up our consciousness to what’s happening in our lives. When we can name and differentiate abstract elements, we can understand how they interact, change them and act upon them. It gives us power of action.

Without vocabulary, clarity is impossible. Because we can’t name that thing inside us that’s trying to make us realize a basic need, we feel completely powerless. We don’t know what to do. So we blame someone or something. We wait for that someone to come satisfy our need, and on top of it, they must guess what would please us most, even though we don’t know ourselves.

Only when we can name our emotions and our needs can we make a clear and negotiable demand to get satisfaction. Only then can we be free because we can nourish our needs in so many different ways. We’re not blind anymore to the belief that there’s only one solution. We can start being creative in taking care of our heart.

 

Things Hidden Behind Things

I feel blessed for having learned another life lesson.

Last week, my fiancé and I visited a cottage. It was perfectly situated for all the things I enjoy doing. I could go off-road motorcycle without taking the road, go fishing, hunting, relax in nature, make a fire and grill the fish I caught in the morning, paint, take amazing photographs of the sunrise on the lake, and play guitar when the weather wouldn’t permit going outside.

It was a dream come true, and I wouldn’t even have to borrow at the bank to buy it.

My fiancé didn’t see it the same way. For him, it was another responsibility, another place to take care of, and another debt. I listened, understood, and so I decided to let it go. Strangely, it made me happy.

The lesson I learned is that Things we buy are a materialization of our emotions and our basic needs. I don’t really want a chalet, I need to get away, far from the everyday life at the house, and I want to have more time, and share more with the love of my life.

There are many other ways to fulfil my needs, and express my emotions. The desire to by Things is often a signal that a need isn’t fulfilled.

Next time I want to buy something, I’ll pause and ask what need does buying this Thing is trying to fill? Could I fill it any other way?

Do you agree?